Tesco, Let's Go

So, my fifth visit to Colchester's beloved Tesco has left me inspired. The more I wandered, the more I was fascinated...that is, until I was accosted by an employee, "There's no photography allowed in the store!"

Umm suspicious, much?! I wanted to ask exactly why a national grocery chain felt it needed to employ the same policy as a national museum, but feared that drawing any more attention to myself might render me as some sort of 'customer/person of interest' or target for enhanced surveillance, or really that I'd just end up on this particularly aggressive employee's s*** list. Not to worry, though, next time I'll know to be sneakier.

A main staple of any Brit's diet is the biscuit--not to be confused with your southern granny's soft, buttermilk bread biscuits (I myself have no such grandmother to speak of)--these are basically what Americans know as cookies. It is more formally called a digestive biscuit, the term 'digestive' being derived from the belief that they had antacid properties due to the use of sodium bicarbonate when they were first developed. Predictably enough, biscuits are frequently eaten with tea or coffee. In the UK alone, the annual sales of chocolate digestives total about £35 million. This means that each year, 71 million packages are sold - and each second, 52 biscuits are consumed.

A customer stands stupefied by the infinite array of biscuits to choose from. So many biscuits, so little time!

Another noteworthy product is 'Long Life Milk.' I first became acquainted with LLM (no one in the UK actually refers to it by this acronym) when I wanted to purchase milk that wouldn't expire within 10 days of its purchase. I was instantly directed to aisle 23...

It's powdered and/or not actual cow's milk, despite the picture of the cow that predominates the packaging. Needless to say, I'm making the 10 day limit work.

This is my section of the store, which is to say, it's gluten free. I was pleasantly surprised that Britain's Safeway equivalent would offer this much. The UK's main g-free brand is called 'Free Mom,' as in Mom is free from the burden and annoyance of having to prepare gluten free stuff, I guess.

I'm still debating whether it would be worth the pain of enduring my symptoms for a day....

BANANA BREAD BEER!!!

Fun Fact: Eggs are not refrigerated. Have we been living a lie this whole time in America?

Another sexist marketing strategy! go figure...